We typically think of negotiations as related to business (at it is). But negotiations are part of daily life. Just consider when you were young and were trying to get a later bedtime or a later curfew.
Whatever the negotiation is about, it is important (vital) to keep your emotions in check. Managed emotions will make a big difference. After all, if the other person (party) senses any sign of emotion in you, they will try to capitalize on it by using your emotions against you.
Excitement is one of the emotions that must be managed. It is dangerous to let the other person know that you want what they have and will do whatever you can do have it (think about a car salesman – it’s what they do). You will be in a better position if they think you are willing and ready to walk away.
Of course, excitement can work for you if there are two or more on your side and you plan to work the good cop/bad cop angle. While one of you shows excitement over the deal, the other person balances the scale by putting a damper on the deal. The “good cop” needs to get the other side excited about making the deal, so that when the “bad cop” steps in, the mood changes. If the other party now wants to make the deal, they may be ready to do whatever they can to make it happen – that’s what you want to happen.
Silence also helps. Very few people enjoy silence; it is uncomfortable. If you can stretch the silence out, the other party will want to break the silence. That is when you can better get what you want.
Be sure to be honest about your abilities. If you are not skilled in negotiating, find someone who is skilled. You may know someone who fits that description. If you don’t know someone who could help you, be willing to find someone to hire who can help you; they can save you money and time with their skills.
Life is full of negotiations. It is smart to realize that and begin thinking through it (as you practice it). Discover what works best for you, and learn from others by observing how they do it.
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